Want to know how to stack the odds in your favour to keep your marriage intact, safe and to protect it from risk? Why do some couples outlast others? What are their secrets? How can we emulate their spousal success?
Here you have Jenna McCarthy sharing her surprising research in the engaging video below, on how marriages, especially happy marriages, actually work.
Here are the Key Points:
- Be optimistic - be able to find the good in any situation with your spouse. One clue: people who smile alot in their childood tend not to divorce in adulthood (could this be an early 'indicator' of the presence of the "optimistic factor"? Incidentally many successful people also possess an optimistic personality, which makes sense because this trait alone would help you to weather adversity better than most pessimistic people could). And if you're going to remain married for a long time (a lifetime?) expect MANY "ups and downs" along the way!
- Men take note: a real turn-on for women is when husbands help out with the domestic chores. This leads to less negativity and / resentment from your wife and guess what that leads to? More all round affection, etc. for ... everyone! It's a win/win situation. The more a husband helps out at home, the happier his wife (and therefore the rest of his family) becomes!
- Divorce is contagious. If your close friends divorce, there is a 75% chance that your marriage might follow suit. You might therefore want to guard against the influence of divorced friends.
- (Jokingly) Do not try to win an Oscar.
The conclusion is that to give marriage a go and to marry someone who you "like alot in the first place". And if you're already married, do guard and protect your marriage (unless it is dangerous for you to remain in it) from eg., something as mundane and common as taking your spouse and your relationship for granted.
Love Never Dies
To sum up, do "use your personal strengths to guard against your own risk factors" because marriage is an institution that is worth pursuing and protecting, for the many advantages that a single lifestyle, by its very nature, cannot confer.
The message then is clear: Get Married and ..... STAY MARRIED!
Your thoughts exactly!
Food for thought:
Federal Court finding:- "De facto relationship not recognised as de facto."
(Q: Would a marriage like this - there are many in existence - be treated as a non -marriage?)